. . . And Mike Huckabee, Too!

At Mike Huckabee's "Huck and Chuck" rally today in Des Moines, Iowa, the former Arkansas governor spoke as the friendly neighborhood preacher. Start with a joke, put in some business, throw in another joke, more business, and close with a joke. He followed a painfully self-loving three piece classic rock cover band and briefly outlined his platform. Fair tax, the sanctity of marriage, and beefing up defense spending so that we'll be so strong no one will want to mess with us (seriously).


Huck's speech was the low point of the night. He joked about his supporters disabling Romney supporters' cars on Thursday (caucus day), then introduced the main event. "A great American hero," Chuck Norris!

Chuck took the stage to wild applause. With his wife by his side, he mentioned that supporting Mike Huckabee was so important to them that they left their six year old twins in California to be with the Huck. He then explained every detail of the commercial that he shot with the governor, just in case we missed it.


Chuck Norris has a gripe with the media. Evidently, it is unfair that Huckabee is referred to as a Baptist minister. It should be Governor Huckabee. We don't call Mitt Romney Businessman Romney. I was not aware that "Baptist minister" was a derogatory term.

Someone asked Chuck Norris if he was tougher than Mike Huckabee. He answered, "I work out on the Total Gym, but I'm not as tough." The crowd went wild.

After Chuck, Janet Huckabee took the stage and announced, "I can't wait to be your first lady, because it is going to be too cool." To show how cool a Huckabee White House would be, Mike retook the stage with the bass guitar that was conspicuously missing from the opening band. He announced a special guest on the rhythm guitar--MSNBC pundit Joe Scarborough(I'm not making this up)--and they launched into an excited version of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama." And no, Watergate does not bother them.

After a couple of songs, Chuck Norris related the evidently hilarious story about how he choked out a Marine while taking a picture with him during a USO trip. All the other Marines in Iraq heard about it and also thought it was hilarious. Then Chuck shared his favorite Chuck Norris Fact. "They were going to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite was not tough enough for his beard," said Mr. Norris through an ecstatic grin. Where is Bruce Lee when you need him?

Mike Huckabee's new spokesman is wildly popular and seemingly loyal, but his speech is disorganized, his vibe narcissistic, and his presence distracting. Then again, when a campaign event is more about the candidate's bass solo during "Roll Over Beethoven" than the candidate's message, he fits right in.